This is about a conflict i was in when i was travelling from chennai to blore by the day train. I got a seat near the gate.
I was deeply engrossed reading a novel. Then the novel became dragging so I decided to take a break from reading. When i looked up i saw a lady standing at the door.
She looked tired because of standing for a long time. She didnt look like she would travel without ticket. So, i was wondering that it would have been some final minute plan and she got no tickets.
And then the conflict started - I and II (Thoughts in my mind) are the two sides in the confict.
I - Men are supposed to be Chivalrous... so let me offer my seat to the lady.
II - But why??? U have a reserved seat and she doesn't have one... why should u offer her ur seat?
I - The lady seems to be tired and it looks like last minute plans and all that.
II - She didnt even ask u for a seat... why u want to be a hero??
I - I am just trying to be nice...
II - What about the rules?? Why would people reserve seats if they find people like u travelling
I - i wont do this for everyone... her's looks like a genuine case
II - No... dont do it!!
I was still to decide and that lady moved on to the other compartment. The confict got resolved partially.
But the Question remains unanswered, what should have i done??
If i had taken up a course on 'Conflict Management', had i been in a better position to decide?? Don't know/Can't say ;)
12 comments:
Do you think they will teach you to deal with these kind of problems in Conflict Management course?
I am sure, nobody can teach you that. It all comes from "value system". There are so many things like these.
In my opinion, if you thought about it after the incident, it is one step closer to solve the problem. Next time you wont go through the same thought process and might as well take the decision faster, whatever may the decision be.
@prits: They would definately not teach that... thats wat i was trying to put across - 'Don't know/Can't say' :)
It has to come from within ;)
Ya man, even i had conflicts like this.
Even while writing this i am having a conflict as to comment on this topic or not (TO DO OR NOT TO DO) :-)
@navaneeth: i had another conflict before this... - do i approve your comment or not? :)
Well, donno if something like Conflict management would have helped..all you would have done would have been to analyse things the same way you just did!
There is nothing like should u do or not!! it is left to u and like u said has to be analysed on a case to case basis.. it boils down to whether u feel like helping the person or not.. There is absolutely nothing wrong if u decide not to help!!
Well u dnt need a course in conflict mgmt for this. This is quite logical. This is not a bus or a public transport that any1 can board with out any ticket. Its a rule and u need to get prior reservation for when u r travelling by a train. so simlpe i hope ur conflict is resolved comlpetely now.....
Lets introduce a few more elements..
say you had travelled without a ticket earlier and had a better or worse experience than the lady..then you surely would've brought that in consideration
or for example, your mom would've travelled w/out tickets and would've had been offered a seat or left standing..
In conflict management, experiences do play a part i guess..if you've had experience in certain things you develop a set of choices, ethics maybe..
@megha, aravind & vaibhav: thanks for ur inputs :)
@satyajit: i agree wit u man, experiences do play a part!
even i have had few experiences like that in kol buses, most of the time i end up getting up but its either for an elderly person or a pregnant woman, once i got up for an aged uncle and offerd him my seat, that was some 3 years back, i still remember the incidence because he smiled very approvingly and encouragingly at me....but i wouldn't have gotten up in your case...so i feel its best to decide on a case to case basis.
@manjari: yeah, it has to be decided on a case to case basis... and this post made u remember an incident which happened 3 years back, not bad :)
2B or not 2B . I'd go for HB any day man!!
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